The Prom Dress


I am not a fashionista. Sure, I believe one must use a discerning eye when selecting the proper concert T. Also, any irreverent humor printed on cotton better be worth more than a subtle chuckle and should only be understood by approximately 23.5 % of the general public. And I am not quite at the point where I let my wife pick out my shirts and pants but she does pick out my boxers from time to time. That said, I do have a weakness. I succumb to the power of the kit. I never thought I’d consider spending a c-note on a shirt. But recently, as I shopped my favorite online “Mamil” site,  there it was calling my name. With a heavy Italian accent, kind of like when I was 8 years old hearing la mia Mamma calling me home for spaghetti dinner.

I think I was a just a bit giddy when I first clicked for a better look. I now know what my daughters feel as they are shuffling through rack after rack for that perfect prom dress. Finding a kit that I might actually be proud to flaunt as opposed to looking for an understated simple black jersey that might help me look less like a baby rhino riding a bike and more like just a baby black bear. Er, maybe a Russian black bear, riding bicycle. Hopefully faster than a normal Russian black bear would be able to ride a bike, More like a really fast and fit Italian black bear that can hammer those big gears while looking rally good in his new kit. Sorry I digress.

Somehow I am not sure I really care. For this kit I may throw all caution to the wind and let that belly roll shimmer in the sun. First off, it’s a nod to the Giro – representing one of this year’s stages through Tuscan Chianti country. Second the tasty color just kicks my ass. Sure it’s a bit pink-ish but hey it’s like a 50-year-old man trying on a quinceanera dress- you only turn 50 once. Plus, you have to be pretty confident in your masculinity to wear pink. That’s why I’d feel ok as I would be partially disguising myself as a giant glass of red table wine. Lastly, I was very generously gifted some certificates for my past birthday that if I don’t spend on a sweet kit, will end up being wasting on the mundane stuff like chain lube, drivetrain replacement parts, tires, or a box of gel packs.

Now, I need to decide if I pull the trigger on the Chianti kit, or wait to drop another few lbs so that prom dress fits the baby rhino just a little bit better. I just hope that rear pocket has room for a liver flavored gel pack and some fava beans.


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